April 13, 2008
Why to keep awards in a closet
In searching for examples of interconnectedness I found this, which is amazing:
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Academy/9280/coarise5.htm
“A simple example: For the average person living in a competitive world, success does not stop at merely the social phenomenon of success, with all its trappings, but includes clinging to the identity of being a successful person, which is a ‘becoming,’ or life state (bhava). Occasionally the feeling of self will manifest as thoughts of “I am a success,” which in effect means “I have been born (jati) as a successful person.” However, such success, in its fullest sense, is dependent on external conditions, such as fame, praise, attainment of special privileges, admiration and recognition. Birth as a “success,” or “being successful,” depends not only on recognition and admiration from others, but the presence of a loser, someone to succeed over. As soon as a successful being is born, he or she is threatened with fading, obscurity and loss. In this situation, all the feelings of depression, worry and disappointment which have not been properly dealt with by mindfulness and clear comprehension will become accumulated in the subconscious, and they will exert an influence on subsequent behavior in accordance with the Dependent Origination cycle.
Whenever there is the arising of the self-concept, there is an occupation of space; when there is occupation of space, there must be a boundary or limitation; when there is limitation, there must be separation; when there is separation there must be the dualism of ’self’ and ‘not self.’ The self will grow and extend outwards through the desire to attain, to act and to impress others. However, it is not possible for self to grow indefinitely according to its desires. The expanding self will inevitably meet with obstruction in some form or other, and desires will be thwarted, if not externally then from within. If one has any sensitivity to the esteem of others, opposition will arise in the form of one’s own sense of conscience. If there is no suppression of these desires and they are allowed to express themselves fully, opposition will appear from external sources. Even if it were possible to indulge every desire to the full, such activity is weakening. It only serves to increase the power of craving itself, together with its attendant feeling of lack. Not only does it increase dependence on externals, but it increases internal conflict. When desires are unfulfilled, tension, conflict and despair are the natural result.”
Hopefully this explains why the awards are kept in a closet!
The above is an example of someone who believes their potential dissolves over time rather than someone who believes they start from little and are building up. I believe most Americans want to “achieve” more than their parents did, for example, because of their faith in the latter. We learn, grow, and feed ourselves because it is healthy to believe we can achieve more than the day before, for ourselves, for our families, for our friends and communities.
While some praise may be false or for superficial reasons, praise is sometimes community’s attempting to reflect that success and “raise up” a peer so they can set new goals to achieve for themselves.
While the “presence of a loser” does unarguably feed feelings of success, the fact that admiration and recognition exist suggests there is a purpose on the part of the praisor, and I believe the root of that purpose is a hope that the praisor’s own achievements will someday be recognized, and not necessarily in a similar way. This is a healthy part of the goal-setting process and ego.
I’m not sure what the author means my “mindfulness and clear comprehension” but I do not believe “depression, worry and disappointment” are givens that do need to be “dealt with”. I believe they are conditions to be avoided first, and dealt with second. We are not born with “success” and then given “depression, worry and disappointment”. We are born with ego and we all hope to grow it from there.
Rose, you and Rick deserve all the awards you can get and they should be spotlighted on your huge front lawn.