rose marshack : whyamistillawake.com

I’m trying out a Billy Pilgrim experiment, where I become unstuck in time (or at least my blog does) - I need to do something with these tour reports and think I may import them to this wordpress blog. Not sure. But here is a clip from one of our European tours, 1996 with Steel Pole Bath Tub…

Please remember. I am the Original Blogger! hahaha…

Not ‘Fuck,’ ‘Shit.’

Today the bus broke down, parked across the street from the Liverpool club. This seems to have eased any tension between all of us and the bus driver, but he seemed pretty upset! By the end of the day, he couldn’t start the bus at all, and he said, “I am just to laugh at this now.” (Austrian accent.) He is kind of funny; the first day he talked to us and told us the rules of the bus he was swearing a lot - he uses the word “Fucking” a lot, as an adjective, which is fine, only he also uses the word “Fuck” as a noun. He says, “I have been doing this a “Fucking” long time.” Then, “My English is “Fuck.” Later he points to a lot of smoke outside the bus and says, “Do you see all this Fuck?” He needs to learn the word “Shit,” I think, to use as a noun. I don’t want to teach it to him though.

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I am on hiatus from writing for Smile Politely; I have a column there called “Building a Sustainable Baby” - I really enjoy writing there but feel constrained; they want mommy columns and I don’t always feel like writing about being a mommy. I have so many other things I do and I like to do them very emphatically. So sometimes I have stuff to say that isn’t related to being a mom.

Speaking of being a mom, I had unprotected sex once this year and got pregnant. I think it’s pretty funny, seeing as though it was so hard to get pregnant the first time around. So I basically have this alien life form (like the movie Alien) bouncing around in my stomach right now. 32 weeks.

I have gestational diabetes again and am shooting up insulin, just like last pregnancy. The shots don’t hurt so much but the diet does. I feel a lot more resistant this time to keeping under 15 / 30 / 45 carbs per breakfast, lunch, dinner. I have eaten eggs and one piece of toast every morning for at least a month now. I don’t really like eggs. And I’ve had to eat meat, too. If I don’t, my blood sugars go nuts. So I eat meat and then get terrible stomach-aches. The tofu and seitan do not cut it; chicken has so much more protein per oz.

I try to detect whether or not I can feel anything when I shoot insulin into my stomach, but I do not feel anything. One morning I messed up and was too low (56) but I just felt shaky and out of it. I went down and made myself my eggs. Another couple of times I’ve been in the low 70s or upper 60s but I just feel bad when that happens. I think ideally you’re supposed to be between 80 and 100.

The economy is scaring my friends into thinking their going to lose their jobs. For some reason I feel very safe in mine. And I do absolutely love it.

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